Humble Creche

 

 

A friend on Facebook shared this picture. When I first saw it, I chuckled at it and thought it was clever. As I went through my day, that image kept reappearing in my mind. The more I thought about it, I realized that it was more accurate than I had ever realized. You see, I want to believe that Jesus’s birth was like the Christmas pageants we observe during the holidays. I want to think that Jesus’s birth was a peaceful event just like the nativity scene that adorns my mantle. But truthfully, it is more like the simple scene in this photo.

I do not claim to be a Bible scholar by any means. I did some research on each of the parts of our humble nativity scene. It was quite interesting and wanted to share them with you.

The crèche — We know that Jesus was born in Bethlehem, however the time and place are unclear. We know that Mary and Joseph traveled to Bethlehem because of a Roman census. Tim Chaffey, who writes for http://www.AnswersinGenesis.org, tells us that Mary and Joseph would have stayed with relatives during this time and not at an inn or motel like we have today. He writes that the Greek word for inn in this scripture means a guest room.

Joseph and Mary probably stayed with Joseph’s relatives in Bethlehem. Because of the large influx of people, the house would have been crowded and the guest room was full, he writes. Chaffey also explains that modern archaeologists, who have excavated first century homes from the Judean hill country, have discovered that the upper level served as a guest chamber. Lower level rooms served as the living and dining rooms. Oftentimes, the more vulnerable animals would be brought in at night to protect them from the cold and theft. Thus, Mary and Joseph could have been in one of these guest rooms with a few animals – not in a barn as so many Christmas pageants portray.

The camel – The camel shouldn’t even be part of a nativity scene because it is believed that the wise men came to see Jesus as a young child and not an infant. Chaffey writes that the Greek word for young child is used to describe Jesus in Matthew 2 at the time that the magi arrived. However, he warns that no one knows Jesus’s age or why the family was back in Bethlehem when the magi arrived. These mysteries contribute to this misconception concerning the nativity.

The angel – The Bible tells us that the angel announced Jesus’s birth, and the multitude praised God. Chaffey tells us that surprisingly, the Bible doesn’t state that the angels sang. We don’t know what they did, but we can be assured that it was magnificent. We do know the angels spoke to the shepherds but we don’t  know if and when the shepherds actually visited the Holy family, he adds.

Mary and Joseph – I can’t help but have admiration and respect for these two. They were put in a terrible situation and yet, they trusted God and his plan. At the time of the divine conception, Mary and Joseph were betrothed, which was as legally binding as marriage is today. They were regarded as husband and wife, and a certificate of divorce would be required to dissolve that union. Chaffey tells us that Joseph could have charged Mary with adultery because of her pregnancy. She could have been stoned to death. Joseph wanted to put Mary away secretly, which means he was planning to obtain a legal divorce, Chaffey writes. But after the angel appeared to Joseph, he chose not to press charges and keep Mary for his wife.

Jesus – I find it interesting that our Lord and Savior was placed in a manger. This is the equivalent of a feeding trough. I am thinking that maybe Mary needed to rest or take care of some personal business and so she laid Jesus in the manger. Possibly the floor was dirty or cold. It wouldn’t be my first choice to put my child and I’m sure it wasn’t Mary’s either. Of course, Jesus didn’t come to earth just to inspire heartwarming stories and glorious holiday pageants. He came to live a sinless life. He revealed to man who God is and modeled how we should live. He died a horrible, sacrificial death on the cross for our sins, and conquered death by rising from the dead!

It’s been my observation that God likes to use the most likely of circumstances and people to get a task done. He didn’t choose the largest brother to conquer Goliath. He chose the youngest one, a teenager. He didn’t choose a great leader to head up a trip to the Promised Land. He chose a man who needed his brother to speak for him. We both know how both of those stories turned out.

Many of God’s prophesies were fulfilled that night, but not with the splendor and magnificence that it should have been. I believe God uses humble people of the world, so that we can really see His glory in action. When we see what God can do with ordinary people, we realize that He can do the same with us.  We are all empty, everyday objects just like the ones in our nativity. But with God’s power and plan, these ordinary objects and people can do wonderful things and touch others!

 

 

 

Dance Floor of Life

Image the scene if you will — a junior high dance. The high school gym is all decorated with crepe paper streamers and balloons. A large painted heart stands to one side of the gym. It will soon be the backdrop for dozens of pictures of young, smiling couples. The deejay is setting up his table. He’s seen those worried looks before.

On one side of the gym are chairs all lined up with nervous, giggly girls. They are comparing their new dresses and admiring each other’s pedicures. Their hair is heavy with mousse, hair spray, and bobby pins. A little cloud of the hair spray and sweet-smelling perfume lingers over them.

Now pan over to the boys’ side in your mind. The group of them — all legs and adam’s apples — are uncomfortably dressed in their church clothes. Some are worried about their pants being  too short because they’ve grown so much since they last wore them. They’re trying to act cool, but deep inside, they’re terrified and excited all at the same time. They swallow nervously and joke with each other. This is the first time they are going to dance with a girl!

As the night progresses, the brave teens will dance, develop puppy love crushes, and go home thinking how magical the night was. A few may even become couples. Others will go home frustrated because they didn’t have enough nerve to ask someone to dance, vowing next time to get off their chairs and be a part of the action. Just going to the dance has taken every ounce of courage they had. These are the kids that I identify with right now.

I am struggling to leave the safety of my chair as well. When I was still in my little town, and in my safe place, I wrote all kinds of blogs about how I was going to conquer the world after I moved. I was full of optimistic ideas of what I could do and who I would meet along the way. But now that I am here, I haven’t quite done all of the things that I thought I would.

Mind you, I have been busy. I did get moved, and I love my new house and neighborhood. I got married to my best friend and long-time boyfriend. I also got a new job at a university medical center. I work as a secretary for a lab. Although I don’t teach, I am still involved in education. I assist professors and graduate students teaching young medical students. But I’m not out on the dance floor.

It’s not that I’m afraid to start doing things I had planned — more like I’m just not ready yet. I’ve spent all of my energy getting comfortable in my new surroundings: a new house, neighborhood, and job. I’m still learning how things work and who I can trust. Every group of people have a set of unwritten rules and a hierarchy within that system. I’m still observing and testing those boundaries. I’m still sitting on my chair, trying to decide who I’ll dance with.  I’m thinking about it now — checking it out.

After some time to decide what are the best choices for me, I’ll begin doing all of the things I had planned. I’m ready to start writing, working out, going to church, and getting involved in the community. Just writing this blog is a baby step in the right direction, since I haven’t written since I moved. I went to a writer’s workshop today — another step closer toward the dance floor. Just like all of those nervous junior high kids, I know I’ll get there too.  I’m ready to get on the dance floor of life.

The Metaphorical Fork in the Road

Do you remember the Muppets movie where Kermit is giving directions and says “You take the fork in the road, you can’t miss it.” And of course in true Muppets fashion, there is a giant fork in the road! I know I’m a dork, but I’m wishing that directions in the real world were so clear.

I’ve finally come to my own fork.  I’ve been planning on moving and am in the process of building a house. All of the directional signs are pointed in this direction, BUT there is a little part of me that’s still hanging on to my life now — not ready to come out of my cocoon and give up what is familiar. There’s a part of me that is struggling to get rid of my training wheels.

Two things have happened recently. One is that we got our school contracts. The other is the walk-through of my house. My mentors have advised me to be sure and sign my contract here and then put in my resignation. I don’t want anyone to question that I was offered a job here should I decide to teach again.  The other part is the house. Up until now, it’s been a concept, but it’s beginning to be a reality. The foundation is poured, the plumbing lines and in place, the walls are framed, the doors and windows installed, and the roof has been laid. And I had my walk-through with the builder last week.

Although I don’t write for a living right now, I write to process my thoughts, to let go of negativity inside me, and to share my dreams and experiences with others. So what better way to deal with fear of starting my new life than by writing about it. I did this in two ways — my resignation letter and by christening my new house. My parents and I wrote sentiments on the studs of my new house.  I wrote Bible verses and my parents wrote their own sentiments. I have included some of the pictures. There are more, but these are my favorites.

Joshua 24:15

Hebrews 13:2

My mom wrote several things, but I liked this one the best

My dad’s blessing

So, I guess I have officially chosen which path I will take.  I turned in my resignation letter before I left to go to the walk-through.  Giving up my job was difficult. While I have enjoyed teaching in my small school, the hardest part is the uncertainty of what I will be doing in the future.  As I’ve written before, I believe this is the path that God is taking me and I know he will lead me to another job equally fulfilling.

Picture of Love

I love this picture of my parents taken at the Sweetheart Banquet at church in 1959.  They were married the following November and later had two beautiful and darling children — the oldest one being myself.  Now in their late 70s, they are still together and going strong.  I have never asked them about the secret to a long marriage because I don’t have to.  From observing this glorious union, I can tell you the secret is love!

Love is patient — My dad is the type that always has a project. He has polished rocks, sailed small sailboats, hunted, fished, rode motorcycles, built model trains, jogged, cycled, and gardened. My mom is so patient. She traipses along behind him and has shared in many of his adventures. I think she has enjoyed some of his projects, but others, I’m not so sure. She’s always very patient with him, and listens patiently as he explains what he’s doing and all of the research he’s done about his new hobbies.

Love is kind — My parents give each other nice gifts. They are very giving, but sometimes the greatest gifts aren’t those you can buy. My last living grandparent, my mom’s mother, passed away a few years ago. At the funeral, I noticed my dad sitting by my mom. He had his arms around her and just holding her gently as she weeped. It was incredibly sweet, and so awesome to see him be so kind and loving at that moment when she needed it.

It does not envy — My parents have two girls. So my dad endured a sea of “girliness” for many years while we were living at home. I am close to both of my parents, but I tend to spend more time with my mother. I’ve never heard my dad whine or complain about being the only guy. I’ve never seen him act like he felt left out, and I’ve never meant to not include him. He has always supported us in whatever we have been involved in.

It does not boast —  My dad is very good with finances. He has saved their money and invested wisely. My parents don’t buy things that they can’t afford. They are not extravagant. They have always had a plan for their children when we were still at home. They also have a plan for their future. They don’t boast that they are doing well. My dad knows that he and my mom will be well provided for.

It is not proud — My parents are in good health, but have had some illnesses and injuries through the years. My dad recently had the flu. In fact, I am blamed for giving it to him. My mom took very good care of him. She was not too proud to clean up after him and take him to the doctor. She tossed and turned many nights while my dad was snorting and coughing through the nights. She did whatever she needed to get him back on his feet again.

I’m fairly certain my parents are completely embarrassed by this post. They would say that they are nothing special. They are just doing the right thing. But, I disagree. Their relationship is special and should be celebrated. They have had their ups and downs through the years, but they are still together. They are definitely a team, two peas in a pod, a partnership, etc. They are a beautiful example of what God intended marriage to be.

My Mistake

 

I have been struggling with writing about this, because I am so ashamed. I write a Christian blog, but got caught up in the “Mean Girl” drama at work.

I work at a school and there are no men, which means there is no one to balance out the high levels of estrogen in the building. Most of the time, things go very smoothly, but every once in a while, we are transported into a “Pretty Little Liars” episode and all heck breaks loose.  Such is the case on this particular day. I saw something on the internet about a former co-worker and knew who to share this nugget of gossip with. I knew I shouldn’t, but that little devil that sits on my shoulder won out. I let everyone know, and I was exalted for having the best piece of gossip for the day.

That inner struggle was like being in high school again — wanting to fit in with the popular crowd. And then the guilt set in. Almost instantly, I felt terrible.  I knew the former co-worker would laugh at the whole incident, but my juicy bit of information would be devastating to her friends and family. I put myself in that situation. I can handle when someone talks about me. But when you talk about my children, the momma bear in me comes out.

I had to have a long talk with God that night. I came across Romans 5:8 — “but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, he died for us.”  I knew that I had let my Lord down, but He loves me anyway.  He doesn’t wait until we are perfect and don’t gossip or lie. He doesn’t wait until we give our title or teach a Sunday School class. He loves us now as we are.  He knows that we will make good decisions and bad ones. He just wants us to do our best and continue pursuing our relationship with him.

It took me longer to forgive myself. I knew what would happen if I relayed that piece of information. I knew it was wrong, but I did it anyway. This event may not be big to some, but it really affected me deeply. I thought I had my life together and thought others’ opinions didn’t matter to me. But I blew it that day and had to move on from it.  Sometimes I have a tendency to wallow around in my sins.  I know that is Satan trying to keep me from serving my Lord. He wants me to feel so bad about myself that I give up on following my Lord. In those moments, I have to call out to Jesus and fix my eyes back on Him.  When I look forward, I don’t know what’s ahead, but I know that God’s immense love and grace will be surrounding my every step.

 

PTSD

Rarely do I get excited about a movie, but I am so looking forward to seeing “American Sniper,” a new movie coming out about the life of Chris Kyle.  Chris, a decorated Navy Seal who served four tours in the Iraq War, was killed by a man he was trying to help overcome Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Although this condition is associated with soldiers, it can affect any one who experiences or witnesses a terrifying event. I was diagnosed with this condition and find that many people are confused about what PTSD is and how it affects people.

According to the Mayo Clinic, PTSD is a mental health condition that’s triggered by either experiencing or witnessing a terrifying event. Some people are able to deal with a traumatic event, but others will develop symptoms, such as flashbacks, nightmares, severe anxiety, or uncontrollable thoughts about the event. These symptoms may start within three months of the traumatic event or can wait until years later. They can get worse or last for months or years. You can be diagnosed with PTSD if you continue to have these symptoms, and if they cause problems in social or work relationships.

PTSD symptoms are generally grouped into four types: intrusive memories, avoidance, negative changes in thinking and mood, or changes in emotional reactions.

Symptoms of intrusive memories may include:

• Severe emotional distress or physical reactions to something that reminds you of the event
• Recurrent, unwanted distressing memories of the traumatic event
• Upsetting dreams about the traumatic event
• Reliving the traumatic event as if it were happening again (flashbacks)

Symptoms of avoidance may include:

• Trying to avoid thinking or talking about the traumatic event
• Avoiding places, activities or people that remind you of the traumatic event

Symptoms of negative changes in thinking and mood may include:

• Negative feelings about yourself or other people
• Inability to experience positive emotions
• Feeling emotionally numb
• Lack of interest in activities you once enjoyed
• Hopelessness about the future
• Memory problems, including not remembering important aspects of the traumatic event
• Difficulty maintaining close relationships

Symptoms of changes in emotional reactions (also called arousal symptoms) may include:

• Irritability, angry outbursts or aggressive behavior
• Always being on guard for danger
• Overwhelming guilt or shame
• Self-destructive behavior, such as drinking too much or driving too fast
• Trouble concentrating
• Trouble sleeping
• Being easily startled or frightened

Although I did not have all of these symptoms, I did have nightmares for several years. I also experienced most of the symptoms of both of the negative changes in thinking and mood and the changes in emotional reactions. When I began having panic attacks, I started taking an anti-anxiety medication, which I still take. I underwent two years of counseling.

Most people who know me would be surprised that I had so much turmoil going on in my life at that time. And that is why I am writing this and including these symptoms. We all know people that are dealing with emotional chaos inside of them.  We need to be aware of these symptoms and respond to them with love. If you see your loved one display any of these behaviors, please refer them to a hotline, counselor, or doctors who can help.  Although PTSD is a condition that is associated with soldiers and their families, it can affect any of us, but does not need to control us.

New Year, New Adventure!

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the NEW creation has come: The old has gone, the NEW is here!
— 2 Corinthians 5:17

What a verse full of promise! We start every year full of hope and promise. This year is no different. I’m expecting 2015 to be great! Realistically, I know there will be positive and negative days, as there always are. I hope that I will give thanks during the glorious days and will trust in The Lord during the dim, frightening ones.

I’ve already made some changes in my life for 2015. I am buying a house in another town, so that I can be closer to my parents. With my new nest, will come all sorts of new purchases and decisions. I excitedly anticipate them. On the other side of the coin, I am not looking forward to leaving my present job and friends behind. These people have been good to me and it will be difficult to start over. I know my path will cross again with many of them and that makes the transition easier.

Many of us make resolutions every year and keep them for about a week. We all make the eat better, exercise, go to church more goals. I am making one goal this year: Take care of myself. Seems to me if I treated myself as well as I treat my family, and especially my dog, I’d accomplish all of those other goals.

I am a new creation after all. New creations need to be nurtured. They need love, exercise, and kind words. They also need forgiveness. I can’t go back and change any wrongs I did in 2014. Instead I need to forgive myself for all of the ” should ofs” of the past year. In 2015, I need to surround myself around people that will help me grow in a positive way. And that includes a new church, because I am a new creation in Christ.

Sometimes I am afraid to do this. It’s easier some days to stay at home. But I know the great people of the Bible didn’t stay in a comfortable but stagnant place in their lives to accomplish God’s, and neither can I. Sometimes he gently nudges is in a direction and we have no idea where we are going. That’s the place that I feel I am in. I feel confident in my decision to move, but have no idea what will await me there. So 2015 will be a new adventure for me! I pray for the wisdom and faith I will need to explore God’s plan for my life!

Christmas Doesn’t Come from a Store

 

“Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before! What if Christmas, he thought, doesn’t come from a store. What if Christmas…perhaps…means a little bit more!”    — Dr. Seuss from How the Grinch Stole Christmas!

How the Grinch Stole Christmas! has always been one of my favorites. I’ve always hoped that if something catastrophic were to happen to my family and I that we would respond to it like the Whos in Whoville. Despite having everything stolen from them, they still sang and observed the true meaning of Christmas.

I believe that Christmas celebrates the birth of Jesus Christ, but I must admit, I have been guilty of taking the Christ out of Christmas.  It can be a stressful time for me.  It especially was difficult when I still lived with my alcoholic husband. Christmas stressed him, and he responded to it by drinking more. It was the time of year when he really missed his family that had passed away and felt the pain of his own inadequacies. And I responded to this by enabling him.  I was very codependent during this period of my life. I thought I was being the “good” partner by  taking on all of the responsibility of decorating and buying gifts for our family. Instead I was setting myself up to become a financial disaster.

According to the American Research Group, Americans will spend on average $860 this year on Christmas gifts. Personally, I think this is a low estimate. Many will spend more than this and are not in a financial place to do so.  I know this is what I did when my children were small. There are a number of reasons we overspend at Christmas. Some include:

1.  Unreal Christmas expectations.  My ideal Christmas gathering would be a family grouped around a full, lavishly decorated Christmas tree. The family, all clad in matching pajamas, are opening their beautifully wrapped gifts. They thank each other for the thoughtful gifts and sing Christmas carols and drink hot cocoa. It’s a scene straight out of  L.L. Bean catalog. But few of us enjoy a scene like that. But back to reality, expectations for social gatherings with family, friends and acquaintances — that we don’t even like — is stressful. And finally, many people feel very lonely at Christmas, because they have suffered the loss of loved ones or their jobs. I can relate to all of these problems.

2. Credit card debt. I’ve always wanted to give my children nice things for Christmas  and rationalized that I can use my credit cards to get them. I knew I could pay my balances in “easy monthly installments.” However, when you get too many of those, they eventually add up to a big mountain of debt. Mine got so big that I couldn’t make the payments.  At one time, I was making a over half of my income on credit card payments, and I couldn’t even tell you what it was for.   Years of therapy has taught me how wrong this was and I have paid off my debt now.

3.  Filling voids in our lives.  Studies also show that people with low self-esteem engage in more impulse spending and buying things they don’t need. The book Spent says we live in a culture “that teaches outer appearances and material acquisitions can sooth psychological problems and enhance self-worth.” Most of us believe that we will be more easily accepted if we dress a certain way, drive a certain car, or live in a certain neighborhood, etc. We want this for ourselves and for our children, as well.  Advertisers have spent significant amounts trying to manipulate our desires and preferences.  In reality, our trying to impress others leads to a insurmountable financial burden.

The last few Christmases, I have made an effort to keep my spending under control. I buy with cash and I use a budget. I make a list and decide on what I am going to spend on each person and do so.  I have finally realized that I cannot give love, joy, and peace to people with material things. I have learned that the gifts of saying “I love you” and “I’m proud of you” are more highly valued than things that come from a store. I have learned that time spent with family and friends are times to treasure, instead of worldly trinkets that they give us.  I have learned to include Christ in my Christmas celebrations. I have learned that Christmas doesn’t come from a store.

 

Thanksgiving Bread Crumbs

 

 

Would you want your guests to feast on bread crumbs for Thanksgiving? I would rather serve the gifts of God’s bounty and drink the living water of His Presence.

As I was reading my devotional reading from Jesus Calling, I was moved by a particular paragraph. “When you are around other people, you tend to cater to their expectations — real or imagined. You feel enslaved to pleasing them, and your awareness of My Presence grows dim. Your efforts to win their approval eventually exhaust you. You offer these people dry crumbs rather than the living water of My Spirit flowing through you. This is not My way for you! Stay in touch with Me, even during your busiest moments. Let My Spirit give you words of grace as you live in the Light of My Peace.”

This passage contains a number of truths we need to remember this holiday season.  These are important so that we keep our focus on what is important and not all of the production and wrappings of the holidays.

1.  The first thing is “catering to others’ expectations — real or imagined.” I love the word imagined in this sentence.  So many times, we imagine what holidays “should be.” I know that I have watched way too many sappy movies and have confused reality with Hollywood productions. I have been guilty of worshipping my idea of “the perfect celebration,” instead of remembering what I am actually celebrating. If my meal doesn’t come out looking like a Norman Rockwell painting, I think I’m a failure. This is so far from the truth. I don’t recall my Grandmothers’ tablescapes. Instead, I remember the delicious meals and the love and laughter of my family.

2. Then there’s the phrase “your efforts … exhaust you.” It’s easy to try to be the “Hostess with the Mostest” and lose your focus.  When I try to be everything to everyone, I get tired and cranky. Then comes the bad attitude. This is being like Martha in the Bible. She got caught up in the celebration instead of celebrating Jesus. She did everything and made sure that everyone knew. She even threw her own sister under the bus — to Jesus, no less!  I’m sure she expertly made all of the preparations for Jesus and his disciples, but was quite unpleasant. Most anyone would rather enjoy eating good food with a gracious host than eating gourmet cuisine with a grouchy host.

3. Lastly, I love the sentence that says “On my own, I offer people bread crumbs.” I could present my little nuggets of wisdom, but not anything to chew on, digest, and feel satisfied. But when I spend time with God, listening for his instructions and basking in his glory, I am aware of God’s presence through the Holy Spirit living inside of me. And just like Jesus changed the water to wine, God changes my feeble words into a soliloquy of praise and grace!  The key to this miracle is me keeping my eyes on God. When I’m cleaning the bathroom or cutting the onions, I need to be “in touch” with God. I don’t think it matters if I’m praying or listening to Christian music. The point is that I’m focused on Him instead of myself or my “perfect celebration.” When I keep my heart and mind focused on God’s shining presence, my efforts are multiplied into a blessing to others.

Happy Thanksgiving! We are all so blessed!